About Me.
I help people win, without losing themselves in the process.
Cute. What does that even mean?
Well. What does winning look like to you?
My definition is this: reaching your goals without sacrificing the people, the priorities and the parts of yourself that make them worth reaching.
Because what's the point of building a successful life if you're too depleted to enjoy it?
I'm Lama Abou Daher, a life coach based in Westerham, Kent, working in person and online.
And I know exactly what winning on paper looks like.
At thirteen, I had already given myself a nickname. ‘The Walking Contradiction’.
I was growing up between cultures that clashed and expectations that stacked, and the unspoken rule was simple. Pick one version of yourself, mute the rest.
So I did. And it worked, for a while, at a cost I didn't understand until much later.
I spent a decade in education. Thirty-six children in a class, leading a year group, training teachers, tutoring on the side. Good job. Married. Bought the house. Moving up.
Winning? Certainly. And somewhere in it, I lost something very, very valuable.
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The Early Years
At thirteen, I gave myself a nickname. ‘The Walking Contradiction’.
I was born in London to two hard-working immigrant parents, and I grew up between cultures that clashed and expectations that stacked. The rule was never said out loud, but it was clear enough. Pick one version of yourself, and mute the rest.
So I tried. And on the surface, I pulled it off.
Not without a cost. I was an unwell child. One illness after another, through years I now understand I spent holding a great deal in and letting very little out.
Then came the rage. As a young adult I rebelled in every way available to me. Against systems that made me feel small. Against circumstances I couldn't change. Against people who had no interest in changing them.
The Teaching Era
They say you become what little you needed. So I became a teacher. A safe adult. A role model.
And I was good at it. I taught. I mentored. I led. I fought for change inside a system that often forgot the humans working in it.
But behind the leadership roles and the achievements, I was quietly burning out. The inner conflict hadn't gone anywhere. Neither had the physical setbacks, or the pressure to keep performing.
And still, I pushed.
November 2019
I hit my lowest point. No dark details. I just knew something had to shift.
That same year, I met a life coach. I won't be cliché and say my life changed. But my mindset did, and slowly things began to move.
I stopped trying to fix my contradictions and started owning them. I stopped resisting myself and started refining myself. Challenges became catalysts. My capacity grew. I grew.
And I finally understood something: growth isn't about changing what's around you. It's about mastering what's within you.
When you've spent years at war with yourself, nothing compares to the peace of finally working with yourself.
The course I turned down
A few months later, my school offered to send me on another leadership course.
I smiled, and politely declined. I already knew I had no intention of staying in teaching much longer. Awkward.
So the Head offered me a life coaching course instead. I said yes immediately, remembering exactly what those sessions had done for me.
It was brief, but potent. I loved it. And I was good at it.
I started practising in 2020, coaching colleagues and senior leaders, and quietly watched the results speak for themselves.
Weeks later I found the oldest and largest coaching academy in the UK. And I hesitated. After a lot of reflection, I silenced my inner critic and enrolled.
Studied. Practised. Coached. Tutored. Taught. Wrote the essays, submitted the assignments, completed the diploma, and graduated with top honours.
In 2024, I left teaching for good.
Your traits are a team
Here's how I see it now.
Your traits really are like a team. Not every player is needed in every match. Not every player shines in every game.
But you don't bench your subs forever. You know their time is coming. You learn to trust them, honour them, and use them when the game calls for it.
Self-mastery isn't choosing one side of yourself and silencing the rest. It's learning to lead all of you. It’s being able to access your inner ‘team’, as and when you need.
I don't believe traits are inherently good or bad. Their value is contextual. Real mastery is knowing when to use what. And being able to, for that matter.
That's The Duality Framework.
Now
Healthy. Happy. Grateful. Building the life I love.
And helping ambitious people do what I had to learn the hard way:
Win, without losing yourself.
That's where The Cup Theory came from. A way of understanding how your time, energy and attention are spent, protected and replenished. I built it before I had a name for it, in a year I was mostly trying to survive.
Then I went deeper. Three years of research into behaviour, neuroscience, psychology and identity work became The Duality Framework, which is what I use when someone is genuinely stuck. Not busy. Stuck.
Because what you need is never missing. It's under-accessed.
One framework keeps gives you capacity. The other grants you access to your full range.
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As a qualified Life Coach and teacher, I hold myself to the highest standards through ongoing accreditation, continuous development, and daily mental stimulation (books are my love language).
The teacher in me says, “There’s always more to learn.”
The coach in me? “Let’s learn it - and use it to win.”Personal Performance Coaching Accreditation – The Coaching Academy
POC – The Power of Coaching Certification – Olevi
Certified DISC Practitioner – The Coaching Academy
PGCE – Postgraduate Certificate in Education – Roehampton University
BA – English Language, Literature & Sociology Joint Honours Degree – St Mary’s University
Additional Experience
Executive Contributor – Brainz Magazine
10+ years in education, leadership, mentoring, and personal development
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I meal prep every Monday.
My hair is naturally, very curly.
I have my own Life Coach.
I find crooked teeth on other people very endearing.
I play netball weekly and I’m learning to ski.
I want a motorbike. I’ve never wanted a car.
One of the first things I notice about people is their hands.
The number eight is my favourite.
Alice in Wonderland was and still is a BIG inspiration to me.
I’ve started an antique teacup collection. The oldest teacup I have is from 1870!
I have a Siberian cat named Porcini, (yes, as in the mushroom).
I love singing. Please don’t ask me to, though.
I used to be camera-shy. There is a portion of my life missing because I refused to be in family photos/videos for four years.
My favourite films are: Inception, Memoirs of Geisha and Cinema Paradiso.
Every November, I must watch The Dark Knight Trilogy.
I used to play the Piano. I reached grade 4 and quit. I haven’t touched one since.
“The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.” That quote is my ROMAN empire. I think about this daily.
My biggest fear is getting Alzheimer’s.
LCL.
THREE LETTERS - ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES
Why LCL, and not just my name?
Because the work isn't about me. It's a method, and what you build with it stays yours long after we finish.
Here's what I believe.
You already have the full range. The decisiveness, the directness, the stillness to think clearly, the patience to hold a difficult conversation, the nerve to back yourself without a committee.
Every trait you think you lack, you have used, or will use at some point in your life.
What you don't have is reliable access to it.
Access isn't a personality trait. It's built. Two things build it: feeling safe enough to use a part of yourself you've learned to keep quiet, and then practising it until it feels easier to access.
That's the whole method. Safety, then repetition. Access, then range.
And it's why the client sits at the centre of everything here. Including the logo.
I'm not giving you anything you don't have.
I'm helping you access all of it.
Did the LCL philosophy resonate with you?
The Logo?
It came to me at 3am…
Don’t all the best ideas?
My logo is simple, symmetrical but it’s not just a design. Every line, every curve, every pause - it’s all deliberate and encompasses the LCL philosophy.
And here’s the twist most people miss: That symbol that makes out L C L?
It spells my name in Arabic - لما
Coincidence? No.
Complete alignment? Yes.
